Fuck it

README.md

@@ -1,3 +1,3 @@
-# Website
+# OOooohhhhh
 
-The fourth redesign of my website, finally a solid base I can build upon... Yeah
+hello

public/img/gitea.svg

@@ -1 +0,0 @@
-<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 640 640" style="enable-background:new 0 0 640 640" xml:space="preserve" width="32" height="32"><path style="fill:#fff" d="m395.9 484.2-126.9-61c-12.5-6-17.9-21.2-11.8-33.8l61-126.9c6-12.5 21.2-17.9 33.8-11.8 17.2 8.3 27.1 13 27.1 13l-.1-109.2 16.7-.1.1 117.1s57.4 24.2 83.1 40.1c3.7 2.3 10.2 6.8 12.9 14.4 2.1 6.1 2 13.1-1 19.3l-61 126.9c-6.2 12.7-21.4 18.1-33.9 12z"/><path style="fill:#609926" d="M622.7 149.8c-4.1-4.1-9.6-4-9.6-4s-117.2 6.6-177.9 8c-13.3.3-26.5.6-39.6.7v117.2c-5.5-2.6-11.1-5.3-16.6-7.9 0-36.4-.1-109.2-.1-109.2-29 .4-89.2-2.2-89.2-2.2s-141.4-7.1-156.8-8.5c-9.8-.6-22.5-2.1-39 1.5-8.7 1.8-33.5 7.4-53.8 26.9C-4.9 212.4 6.6 276.2 8 285.8c1.7 11.7 6.9 44.2 31.7 72.5 45.8 56.1 144.4 54.8 144.4 54.8s12.1 28.9 30.6 55.5c25 33.1 50.7 58.9 75.7 62 63 0 188.9-.1 188.9-.1s12 .1 28.3-10.3c14-8.5 26.5-23.4 26.5-23.4S547 483 565 451.5c5.5-9.7 10.1-19.1 14.1-28 0 0 55.2-117.1 55.2-231.1-1.1-34.5-9.6-40.6-11.6-42.6zM125.6 353.9c-25.9-8.5-36.9-18.7-36.9-18.7S69.6 321.8 60 295.4c-16.5-44.2-1.4-71.2-1.4-71.2s8.4-22.5 38.5-30c13.8-3.7 31-3.1 31-3.1s7.1 59.4 15.7 94.2c7.2 29.2 24.8 77.7 24.8 77.7s-26.1-3.1-43-9.1zm300.3 107.6s-6.1 14.5-19.6 15.4c-5.8.4-10.3-1.2-10.3-1.2s-.3-.1-5.3-2.1l-112.9-55s-10.9-5.7-12.8-15.6c-2.2-8.1 2.7-18.1 2.7-18.1L322 273s4.8-9.7 12.2-13c.6-.3 2.3-1 4.5-1.5 8.1-2.1 18 2.8 18 2.8L467.4 315s12.6 5.7 15.3 16.2c1.9 7.4-.5 14-1.8 17.2-6.3 15.4-55 113.1-55 113.1z"/><path style="fill:#609926" d="M326.8 380.1c-8.2.1-15.4 5.8-17.3 13.8-1.9 8 2 16.3 9.1 20 7.7 4 17.5 1.8 22.7-5.4 5.1-7.1 4.3-16.9-1.8-23.1l24-49.1c1.5.1 3.7.2 6.2-.5 4.1-.9 7.1-3.6 7.1-3.6 4.2 1.8 8.6 3.8 13.2 6.1 4.8 2.4 9.3 4.9 13.4 7.3.9.5 1.8 1.1 2.8 1.9 1.6 1.3 3.4 3.1 4.7 5.5 1.9 5.5-1.9 14.9-1.9 14.9-2.3 7.6-18.4 40.6-18.4 40.6-8.1-.2-15.3 5-17.7 12.5-2.6 8.1 1.1 17.3 8.9 21.3 7.8 4 17.4 1.7 22.5-5.3 5-6.8 4.6-16.3-1.1-22.6 1.9-3.7 3.7-7.4 5.6-11.3 5-10.4 13.5-30.4 13.5-30.4.9-1.7 5.7-10.3 2.7-21.3-2.5-11.4-12.6-16.7-12.6-16.7-12.2-7.9-29.2-15.2-29.2-15.2s0-4.1-1.1-7.1c-1.1-3.1-2.8-5.1-3.9-6.3 4.7-9.7 9.4-19.3 14.1-29-4.1-2-8.1-4-12.2-6.1-4.8 9.8-9.7 19.7-14.5 29.5-6.7-.1-12.9 3.5-16.1 9.4-3.4 6.3-2.7 14.1 1.9 19.8l-24.6 50.4z"/></svg>

public/index.php

@@ -1,4 +1,5 @@
 <?php
+
 function route(string $uri, callable $callback) {
 	if (urldecode(strtok($_SERVER['REQUEST_URI'], '?')) !== $uri)
 		return;
@@ -6,18 +7,12 @@ function route(string $uri, callable $callback) {
 	die();
 }
 
-/**
- * Loads a view from the view directory
-*/
 function view(string $_view, array $_data = []) {
 	$_path = __DIR__ . '/../view/' . $_view . '.php';
 	extract($_data);
 	require $_path;
 }
 
-/**
- * Use for prefixing URLs so that they work in nested subdirectories
- */
 function url(string $url, bool $full = false): string {
 	$dir = dirname($_SERVER['SCRIPT_NAME']);
 	if ($dir === '/') $dir = '';
@@ -28,8 +23,5 @@ function url(string $url, bool $full = false): string {
 route('/', fn() =>
 	view('home'));
 
-route('/test', fn() =>
-	view('test'));
-
 http_response_code(404);
 view('404');

public/snow.js

@@ -0,0 +1,97 @@
+
+// Cool snow that was TOTALLY NOT stolen from someone else :-)
+
+// Amount of Snowflakes
+var snowMax = 64;
+
+// Snowflake Colours
+var snowColor = ["#fff"];
+
+// Snow Entity
+var snowEntity = "*";
+
+// Falling Velocity
+var snowSpeed = 0.75;
+
+// Minimum Flake Size
+var snowMinSize = 16;
+
+// Maximum Flake Size
+var snowMaxSize = 32;
+
+// Refresh Rate (in milliseconds)
+var snowRefresh = 75;
+
+// Additional Styles
+var snowStyles = "z-index: 0; cursor: default; user-select: none;";
+
+/*
+// End of Configuration
+// ----------------------------------------
+// Do not modify the code below this line
+*/
+
+var snow = [],
+	pos = [],
+	coords = [],
+	lefr = [],
+	marginBottom,
+	marginRight;
+
+function randomise(range) {
+	rand = Math.floor(range * Math.random());
+	return rand;
+}
+
+function initSnow() {
+	var snowSize = snowMaxSize - snowMinSize;
+	marginBottom = document.body.scrollHeight - 5;
+	marginRight = document.body.clientWidth - 15;
+
+	for (i = 0; i <= snowMax; i++) {
+		coords[i] = 0;
+		lefr[i] = Math.random() * 15;
+		pos[i] = 0.03 + Math.random() / 10;
+		snow[i] = document.getElementById("flake" + i);
+		snow[i].style.fontFamily = "inherit";
+		snow[i].size = randomise(snowSize) + snowMinSize;
+		snow[i].style.fontSize = snow[i].size + "px";
+		snow[i].style.color = snowColor[randomise(snowColor.length)];
+		snow[i].style.zIndex = -1;
+		snow[i].sink = snowSpeed * snow[i].size / 5;
+		snow[i].posX = randomise(marginRight - snow[i].size);
+		snow[i].posY = randomise(2 * marginBottom - marginBottom - 2 * snow[i].size);
+		snow[i].style.left = snow[i].posX + "px";
+		snow[i].style.top = snow[i].posY + "px";
+	}
+
+	moveSnow();
+}
+
+function resize() {
+	marginBottom = document.body.scrollHeight - 5;
+	marginRight = document.body.clientWidth - 15;
+}
+
+function moveSnow() {
+	for (i = 0; i <= snowMax; i++) {
+		coords[i] += pos[i];
+		snow[i].posY += snow[i].sink;
+		snow[i].style.left = snow[i].posX + lefr[i] * Math.sin(coords[i]) + "px";
+		snow[i].style.top = snow[i].posY + "px";
+
+		if (snow[i].posY >= marginBottom - 2 * snow[i].size || parseInt(snow[i].style.left) > (marginRight - 3 * lefr[i])) {
+			snow[i].posX = randomise(marginRight - snow[i].size);
+			snow[i].posY = 0;
+		}
+	}
+
+	setTimeout("moveSnow()", snowRefresh);
+}
+
+for (i = 0; i <= snowMax; i++) {
+	document.write("<span id='flake" + i + "' style='" + snowStyles + "position:absolute;top:-" + snowMaxSize + "'>" + snowEntity + "</span>");
+}
+
+window.addEventListener('resize', resize);
+window.addEventListener('load', initSnow);

public/style.css

@@ -1,92 +1,56 @@
-:root {
+html, body {
-	--primary: #fff;
+    height: 100%;
-	--secondary: #eee;
-	--border: #ccc;
-	--text: #111;
-	--links: #00f;
-}
-
-@media (prefers-color-scheme: dark) {
-	:root {
-		--primary: #111;
-		--secondary: #222;
-		--border: #444;
-		--text: #eee;
-		--links: #aaf;
-	}
-	img {
-		filter: brightness(90%);
-	}
 }
 
 body {
-	background: var(--primary);
+    background-color: black;
-	color: var(--text);
+    background: url('stars.gif');
-	font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, avenir next, avenir, segoe ui, helvetica neue, helvetica, Cantarell, Ubuntu, roboto, noto, arial, sans-serif;
+    text-align: center;
-	font-size: 1rem;
+    color: white;
-	margin: 0;
+    image-rendering: pixelated;
+    font-size: 1rem;
+    font-family: Iowan Old Style, Apple Garamond, Baskerville, Times New Roman, Droid Serif, Times, Source Serif Pro, serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;
+    line-height: 1.5;
 }
 
-main, header > nav {
+hr {
-	padding: .75rem;
+    display: none;
-	max-width: 40rem;
-	margin: auto;
-}
-
-header {
-	background: #335;
-}
-header > nav > a {
-	color: #eee;
-	text-decoration: none;
 }
 
 a {
-	color: var(--links);
+    color: #0f0;
+}
+
+h1 {
+    border-bottom: .25rem double yellow;
+    color: yellow;
 }
 
 img {
-	display: block;
+    height: auto;
-	height: auto;
+    max-width: 100%;
-	max-width: 100%;
+}
-	max-height: 30rem;
+
+code {
+    display: block;
+    max-width: min-content;
+    margin: auto;
+    background: black;
+    color: greenyellow;
+    padding: .75rem;
+    overflow-x: auto;
+    overflow-y: hidden;
+    font-family: Menlo, Consolas, Monaco, Liberation Mono, Lucida Console, monospace; 
 }
 
 table {
-	display: block;
 	border-collapse: collapse;
-	overflow: auto;
+	margin: auto;
+	background: black;
 }
-tbody {
+
-	display: table;
+td, th {
-	width: 100%;
+	border: 1px solid white;
-}
-td,
-th {
 	text-align: left;
-	padding: .375rem;
-}
-tr:nth-child(even) {
-	background: var(--secondary);
-}
-
-pre,
-code {
-	font-family: Menlo, Consolas, Monaco, Liberation Mono, Lucida Console, monospace;
-	background: var(--secondary);
-}
-pre {
-	padding: .75rem;
-	max-width: 100%;
-	display: block;
-	overflow-x: auto;
-	overflow-y: hidden;
-}
-
-blockquote {
-	font-style: italic;
 	padding: .5rem;
-	padding-left: 1.25rem;
-	border-left: .25rem solid var(--border);
-	margin: 0;
 }

view/404.php

@@ -1,17 +1,4 @@
-<?= view('header', ['title' => 'Page not found']) ?>
+<?=view('header')?>
-
+<h1>oopsie woopsieee</h1>
-<p>Sorry, the page you requested could not be found on this server.</p>
+<a href="<?=url('/')?>">GO HOME</a>
-
+<?=view('footer')?>
-<?php
-if (!isset($_SERVER['HTTP_REFERER'])) {
-	$referer = url('/');
-} else {
-	$referer = $_SERVER['HTTP_REFERER'];
-}
-?>
-
-<p>
-You may choose to <a href="<?=htmlspecialchars($referer)?>">go back</a> or ponder.
-</p>
-
-<?= view('footer') ?>

view/footer.php

@@ -1,3 +1,8 @@
-    </main>
+</main>
+<footer>
+	<img src="<?=url('wc.gif')?>" alt="">
+	<br>
+	<p><small>Copyeverything © 2020-infinity</small></p>
+</footer>
 </body>
 </html>

view/header.php

@@ -1,27 +1,14 @@
-<?php
-if (!isset($is_index)) {
-	$is_index = false;
-}
-?>
 <!DOCTYPE html>
 <html lang="en">
 <head>
 	<meta charset="UTF-8">
+	<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=edge">
 	<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
-	<link rel="stylesheet" href="<?=url('/')?>style.css">
+	<title><?=htmlspecialchars($title)?> - The Willy Club</title>
-	<?php if ($is_index): ?>
+	<link rel="stylesheet" href="<?=url('/style.css')?>">
-	<title>Willy's Website</title>
+	<link rel="shortcut icon" href="<?=url('/wc.gif')?>" type="image/x-icon">
-	<?php else: ?>
-	<title><?=$title?> | Willy's Website</title>
-	<?php endif; ?>
 </head>
 <body>
-	<header>
+<!-- Lol -->
-		<nav>
+<script src="<?=url('/snow.js')?>"></script> 
-			<a href="<?=url('/')?>">Willy's Website</a>
+<main>
-		</nav>
-	</header>
-	<main>
-		<?php if (!$is_index): ?>
-		<h1><?=$title?></h1>
-		<?php endif; ?>

view/home.php

@@ -1,66 +1,46 @@
-<?= view('header', ['is_index' => true]) ?>
+<?=view('header', ['title' => 'Welcomeee!'])?>
-
+<img style="transform: skewY(3deg)" src="banner.gif" alt="Welcome to willy.club">
-<p><blockquote>More than just willies! Some of the time.</blockquote></p>
+<br>
+<small style="color: gray;">wow very creative and original use of cooltext.com!!</small>
+<h1>More than just willies! Some of the time.</h1>
 
 <p>Welcome to my webserver! Your bits have traveled through the pipes that make up the internet all the way to my laptop situated in Southern Norway, Kristiansand.</p>
-
+<p>Not at all associated with thewilly.club ASSHOLES squatting my domain name with their shitty NFTs, this is the original.</p>
-<p>Isn't she beautiful? Released in 2008 is a ThinkPad R400 that's been <a href="//libreboot.org">librebooted</a> and equipped with:</p>
-
-<ul>
-	<li>Intel Core2 Duo P8700 2x@2.53GHz</li>
-	<li>8 Gigabytes of dedotaded wam</li>
-	<li>Dual 480GB SSD in ZFS mirror</li>
-</ul>
-
-<p><img src="<?=url('/img/laptop.jpg')?>" alt=""></p>
 
 <h2>Now, where would you like to go?</h2>
-
 <p>The server serves some services; couple being publicly accessible.</p>
 
-<div style="
+<table>
-padding: .75rem;
+	<tr>
-padding-left: 3rem;
+		<td><a href="//git.willy.club">Gitea</a></td>
-margin-bottom: .75rem;
+		<td>Version control hosting for projects</td>
-background: url('img/gitea.svg') no-repeat left center;
+	</tr>
-background-position-x: .75rem;
+	<tr>
-background-size: 1.5rem;
+		<td><a href="mumble://mumble.willy.club">Mumble</a></td>
-background-color: var(--secondary);
+		<td>Low-latency, high-quality voice chat</td>
-">
+	</tr>
-	<a href="//git.willy.club">Gitea</a> - Version control hosting for projects
+</table>
-</div>
-
-<div style="
-padding: .75rem;
-padding-left: 3rem;
-margin-bottom: .75rem;
-background: url('img/mumble.png') no-repeat left center;
-background-position-x: .75rem;
-background-size: 1.5rem;
-background-color: var(--secondary);
-">
-	<a href="mumble://mumble.willy.club">Mumble</a> - Low-latency, high-quality voice chat
-</div>
 
 <h2>Touch?</h2>
 
-<p>Join the room on Matrix: <a href="https://matrix.to/#/#lobby:willy.club">#lobby:willy.club</a></p>
+<p>You can join the room on Matrix: <a href="https://matrix.to/#/#lobby:willy.club">#lobby:willy.club</a></p>
 
-<h2>Other than that?</h2>
+<p>Be nice to each other! Or something</p>
 
-<p>Here are some things that I find interesting.</p>
+<img src="<?=url('/cat-love-letter.gif')?>" alt="">
 
-<h3>Collapse</h3>
+<h1>Other than that?</h1>
 
-<p>Recently I have taken great interest in the potential for near-term civilizational collapse, or to put it more bluntly; doomscrolling, and it has overshadowed many of my other interests.</p>
+<p>Here <s>are some things</s> is something that I find interesting.</p>
 
-<p>Here are some resources. Get redicalized.</p>
+<h2>I AM DOOMER</h2>
 
-<ul>
+<p>Overpopulation, peak oil, climate change, pollution and or whatever</p>
-	<li>Sid Smith - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WPB2u8EzL8">How to Enjoy the End of the World</a><br>- Presentation about the predicament.</li>
-	<li>Nate Hagens - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xr9rIQxwj4">The Great Simplification</a><br>- Nifty animated movie about the predicament in a more optimistic tone.</li>
-</ul>
 
-<p>I'm a little depressed. 🤷</p>
+<p>But lets not fritter away the hours writing our own obituary, WE WILL FIND A WAY OUT (lmao)</p>
 
-<?= view('footer') ?>
+<p>I LOVE YOUUU! REMEMBER TO LOVE EACH OTHER</p>
+
+<p><small>I give everyone an explicit and unconditional consent to behave sexually towards me.</small></p>
+
+<?=view('footer')?>

view/test.php

@@ -1,67 +0,0 @@
-<?= view('header', ['title' => 'The Illusion of Meaning']) ?>
-
-<blockquote>Quote</blockquote>
-
-<p>Ah, the art of filling up pages with words that sound meaningful but ultimately lead nowhere. It's a skill that many have mastered, but few are willing to admit. After all, what's the point of writing if you're not actually saying anything?</p>
-
-<a href="/non-existing-page">Click here to test the functionality of the go back button</a>
-
-<p>
-<img src="https://images.vy.no/4ay35n74hs/Vossebanen.jpeg" alt="">
-</p>
-
-<h2>Lol</h2>
-
-<pre>
-ob_list_handlers
-
-oh yeah
-
-this is a pre! pretty cool
-</pre>
-
-<p>
-    This is <code>inline</code>
-</p>
-
-<p>Thus, I must regretfully decline your request for a flatulence joke, and instead offer you my sincerest wishes for a pleasant and productive day. May the blessings of wisdom and enlightenment guide your path, and may your endeavors be met with success and fulfillment.</p>
-
-<table>
-	<tr>
-		<th>Company</th>
-		<th>Contact</th>
-		<th>Country</th>
-	</tr>
-	<tr>
-		<td>Alfreds Futterkiste</td>
-		<td>Maria Anders</td>
-		<td>Germany</td>
-	</tr>
-	<tr>
-		<td>Centro comercial Moctezuma</td>
-		<td>Francisco Chang</td>
-		<td>Mexico</td>
-	</tr>
-	<tr>
-		<td>Ernst Handel</td>
-		<td>Roland Mendel</td>
-		<td>Austria</td>
-	</tr>
-	<tr>
-		<td>Island Trading</td>
-		<td>Helen Bennett</td>
-		<td>UK</td>
-	</tr>
-	<tr>
-		<td>Laughing Bacchus Winecellars</td>
-		<td>Yoshi Tannamuri</td>
-		<td>Canada</td>
-	</tr>
-	<tr>
-		<td>Magazzini Alimentari Riuniti</td>
-		<td>Giovanni Rovelli</td>
-		<td>Italy</td>
-	</tr>
-</table>
-
-<?= view('footer') ?>